TLDR;
This video discusses factors that deplete our energy, focusing on negativity, complaining, and not following through on commitments. It emphasizes the importance of being present, practicing gratitude (shukr), and taking proactive steps to address problems rather than dwelling on them. The speaker also highlights the significance of self-trust and aligning actions with intentions to avoid self-betrayal and enhance personal empowerment.
- Negativity and complaining deplete energy and create an illusion of working on problems without actual progress.
- Gratitude (shukr) and focusing on blessings can powerfully shift one's heart and perspective.
- Self-trust is built over time by consistently following through on commitments and being honest with oneself.
- Taking proactive steps and focusing on what one can control empowers individuals and invites divine help.
Introduction [0:13]
The session continues a discussion on factors that deplete energy, building upon previous talks about not being present, self-victimization, and dwelling on the past. The focus shifts to negativity and complaining as significant energy drainers.
The Impact of Negativity and Complaining [1:15]
Negativity can spiral more rapidly than positivity, leading to catastrophizing. It's crucial to recognize how much one contributes to negativity by where they direct their energy. While negativity is a natural part of life, excessive focus on it yields negative returns. A key question to ask is whether one is part of the solution to their problems, actively working to alleviate them, or perpetuating them.
Personal Responsibility and Gratitude (Shukr) [3:18]
Personal responsibility involves identifying one's role in fixing a situation, not necessarily taking blame for everything. It's important to assess whether repetitive complaints deserve one's energy. Complaining about small things can also affect one's energy levels. Gratitude (shukr) is presented as the opposite of negativity, intentionally focusing on the blessings in life. Practicing shukr can powerfully shift one's heart and provide nourishment.
Practical Application of Gratitude [5:57]
Transformation comes from small moments of shifting from complaining to gratitude. It's important to assess conversations and avoid repetitive discussions of problems without proactive steps. Starting today, one should pay attention to their complaints and intercept them with "Alhamdulillah" (praise to God) while also practicing a gratitude check. The Quran emphasizes the importance of proclaiming and reporting the favors of the Lord, balancing this with wisdom about when to share certain blessings.
The Illusion of Progress Through Complaining [9:13]
Being present allows one to notice when they are in a loop of complaining or negativity. Complaining and focusing on negativity can create the illusion of working on an issue without actually addressing it. It's important to assess what one is genuinely doing to change their circumstances. When feeling stuck, one should pay attention to the opportunities and blessings that are still available.
The Role of the "Nafs" (Ego) and Action [12:50]
Being truthful with oneself is challenging because the "nafs" (ego) benefits from dwelling on struggles. The "nafs" resists change because it seeks comfort. It's crucial to follow through on what one learns and not just gain information. The companions of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) always combined knowledge with action.
Levels of Understanding and Application [18:26]
Knowledge is understood on different levels: initial learning, implementation, and application through tests and experiences. Experiencing patience through trials provides a deeper understanding than simply knowing about it. It's important to assess how much one is applying from what they are learning and to focus on doing rather than just talking or complaining.
The Trap of Victimhood and the Importance of Action [20:53]
Talking more than acting increases the likelihood of playing the victim role. People who are busy working on themselves don't have time to gossip or complain about others. It's important to be mindful of what one criticizes in others and where one's energy is directed.
Self-Trust and Authenticity [23:10]
A lack of self-trust can hinder one's ability to accomplish goals. This lack of trust is built over time through broken promises and dishonesty with oneself. Just as trust is broken with others through lies and unfulfilled promises, it can be broken with oneself in the same ways. Hypocrisy, as warned against in the Quran, includes not following through on promises.
The Impact of Self-Betrayal [26:09]
It's important to be honest with oneself and avoid self-betrayal. If one is struggling to achieve a goal or feels stuck, they should assess their self-trust. Sabotaging oneself indicates a lack of trust in one's ability to follow through. Even small instances of not doing what one said they would do can break trust with oneself.
The Psychological Effects of Not Following Through [28:10]
Not following through on commitments creates more stress, anxiety, and work for oneself. Guilt signals that something needs to be fixed. Everything one does sends a message to their being. It's important to be mindful of one's self-talk and avoid negative self-labeling. Studies on plants show that positive words promote growth, highlighting the impact of words on living beings.
Empowerment Through Self-Action [30:40]
Following through on commitments enhances self-esteem. Focusing on internal truthfulness and avoiding self-betrayal makes one feel more in control. When one neglects inner work, they become more sensitive to external factors. Taking power back involves showing up for oneself and working towards one's goals.
Divine Help and Resilience [32:12]
Allah helps those who help themselves. When feeling overwhelmed, one should ask what they can do to show up for their life. Focusing on being on time for prayers or cleaning one's space can shift one's perspective. The human spirit seeks to control what it can, even in chaotic circumstances. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) taught to plant a sapling even if the Day of Judgment is befalling.
Finding Control in Chaos [34:52]
Even in refugee camps, people try to create joy and take control of their environment. Focusing on what one can control empowers and provides a coping mechanism. Small actions, like taking a shower or making ablution (wudu), can shift one's state. It's important to be present and connected to these actions, thanking Allah for the ability to perform them.
Gratitude and Divine Increase [41:23]
Being grateful increases what one is thanking Allah for, as promised in the Quran. This applies not only to external blessings but also to one's relationship with Allah. Beautiful spiritual experiences are gifts to be appreciated. Even when facing difficulties, saying "Alhamdulillah" connects one to a higher, more eternal world.
Dealing with Survivor Guilt [45:37]
It's natural to feel survivor guilt, but it's important to translate that guilt into action. This could involve being more conscious of one's consumption and making efforts to help others. It's important to differentiate between guilt, which motivates change, and shame, which involves negative self-labeling.
Conclusion and Ramadan Reminder [48:11]
The speaker concludes by thanking the audience and reminding them to ask Allah to allow them to witness Ramadan, emphasizing that it is not guaranteed.
