TLDR;
In this episode of the Jay Shetty Podcast, Jay hosts Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco, diving into their relationship, from their initial meetings to their engagement. They explore the challenges of male friendships, opening up to love, and the importance of trust and communication in relationships. They also discuss managing busy schedules, dealing with public scrutiny, and maintaining individuality. The episode concludes with a fun couples game, revealing their compatibility and affection for each other.
- The couple shares details about their first meeting and how their relationship evolved from professional collaboration to romance.
- They emphasize the importance of honesty, trust, and communication in maintaining a healthy relationship, especially when dealing with long distance and busy schedules.
- Selena and Benny discuss the challenges of fame and public scrutiny and how they support each other in navigating these pressures.
Intro [0:00]
Jay Shetty introduces Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco, expressing his gratitude for their presence and excitement to explore their love story. He notes the unique connection he shares with both, having known them for several years and witnessing their relationship blossom. Jay aims to delve deeper into their experiences, going beyond surface-level interviews to uncover the true essence of their bond.
Male Friendships Can Be Challenging [1:10]
Jay reflects on the difficulty of making male friends as an adult, suggesting that people become more guarded and set in their ways. Benny agrees, noting that as people get older, they have less time and space to accommodate new relationships. Selena expresses surprise, assuming that men easily form connections. Benny explains that with age, people often feel they have their established circle and are less inclined to bring new individuals into it.
First Meeting & Deep Conversations [3:01]
Jay expresses his hope to explore Selena and Benny's love story on a deeper level, aiming to relive their experiences with them. Benny recalls that their first meeting was set up by Selena's mother when Selena was 16 and Benny was around 20 or 21, but neither of them remembers it. Benny remembers a conversation with Selena around 2016 or 2017, where he was struck by her depth and complexity.
How It All Started [8:48]
Selena mentions working on music and coming across demos, including "Single Soon," which Benny helped with. Benny recalls being unsure if Selena liked him before going into the session. Selena admits she gets nervous around producers, but she found herself talking to Benny for a long time. Benny recalls wanting Selena to join their friend group and texting her afterward, which led to them talking and eventually hanging out.
Opening Up to Love Again [16:32]
Benny shares that he had a list of qualities he was looking for in a partner, including being age-appropriate (30+) and kind. Selena reflects on a time when she planned to adopt at 35 if she hadn't found someone. She explains that she was protecting herself but eventually opened up when she realized Benny saw her for who she truly is.
It All Happens for a Reason [18:57]
Selena shares that she felt genuinely settled once she let go of specific expectations and focused on gratitude. She emphasizes that Benny sees her for who she is, which is rare and comforting. Benny believes that everything happens for a reason and that their meeting at the right time was crucial.
Finding Genuine Love [21:08]
Benny reflects on potentially sabotaging their connection by suggesting Selena meet his single friends. He believes that their meeting later in life, after personal growth, was essential for their relationship to work. Selena emphasizes the importance of trust in their long-distance relationship, noting that Benny's consistent communication makes her feel safe.
Be Kind to Yourself [27:13]
Selena discusses the challenges of living under constant public scrutiny, where she feels judged for her character and appearance. She admits that it sometimes makes her feel unsafe and dislike herself. Benny recalls a time when they decided to make their relationship public, knowing it would bring scrutiny, but he was willing to dive in because of his love for Selena.
Don’t Let Negativity Dictate Your Life [33:37]
Selena shares that she was the first to say "I love you," wanting Benny to know how committed she was. Benny recalls Selena saying "I love you" while coming out of anesthesia and another time with friends, but he wanted their first official "I love you" to be special. He emphasizes the importance of expressing his love and admiration for Selena every day.
Cultivating Relationships with Trust [37:55]
Benny expresses his passion for making people feel good and criticizes the tendency to bring others down. Selena emphasizes the importance of honesty and feeling safe in a relationship. Benny shares that he doesn't read comments or interviews, preferring to focus on real-life interactions. Selena acknowledges the difficulty of ignoring negativity but emphasizes the importance of taking breaks and focusing on positive influences.
This is How Emotionally Mature Relationships Work [48:22]
Selena shares that it was initially difficult for her to take trips away from Benny, but with trust and communication, she feels more secure. Benny emphasizes the importance of listening to one's partner and validating their feelings. He adds that he tries to make Selena's day better, and they both inspire each other.
The Proposal [57:08]
Selena describes the proposal, which she initially thought was a regular shoot. She shares that it was a surreal and special moment. Benny reveals he wasn't nervous until the last second and couldn't remember what he said. He emphasizes that he never cared about marriage until he realized how much it meant to Selena.
Wedding Planning [1:05:29]
Selena and Benny share that they haven't started wedding planning due to their busy schedules. Selena mentions that Benny is good at organizing, while she is more visual. They are excited to spend time together in New York and eventually plan the wedding.
Recording an Album Together [1:06:26]
Selena and Benny discuss their experience recording an album together, which includes songs about past relationships and various emotions. Selena shares that it was a safe space to discuss things she wouldn't normally talk about. Benny adds that he would often write down Selena's dreams and turn them into songs.
Future Family Plans [1:13:17]
Selena expresses her love for children and excitement about becoming a mom someday. Benny notes Selena's shyness around new people but her immediate connection with children. He admires her authenticity and outspokenness.
Selena and Benny on Fun Questions [1:18:03]
Jay plays a couples game with Selena and Benny, asking fun questions about their preferences and habits. They reveal that their favorite foods are steak and corn dip, and Selena wishes Benny could master sleeping through the night. Benny admires Selena's knowledge of "Friends," while Selena appreciates Benny's thoughtful gifts. They also share their ideas of a perfect date night and what they find most endearing about each other.
