TLDR;
In this episode of the No Homo Show, Boss Brit and DJ XL discuss how to spot red flags in relationships, especially within the gay community. They share personal experiences and advice on recognizing early warning signs, addressing communication issues, and trusting your intuition. They also touch on the importance of setting boundaries and avoiding love bombing. The episode concludes with a listener's dating horror story that highlights the consequences of ignoring red flags.
- Spotting red flags early in relationships.
- Addressing communication issues and setting boundaries.
- Trusting your intuition and avoiding love bombing.
Intro [0:00]
Boss Brit and DJ XL introduce the episode, emphasizing the importance of recognizing red flags in relationships. They encourage viewers to like, subscribe, and comment, and they promote their Patreon for early access to episodes and exclusive content. They also mention their No Homo Show playlist on Patreon, where they feature various artists.
Personal Updates and Wedding Planning [3:58]
Boss Brit shares that she's feeling energetic due to having coffee and Red Bull. DJ XL discusses her wedding planning process, mentioning that they have confirmed the venue, finalized the guest list, and are about to send out save-the-date cards. She also mentions that she has hired a wedding planner and appreciates the help. They discuss the high cost of weddings, particularly food and alcohol.
Ring in the Toilet and OBGYN Visit [10:42]
DJ XL recounts a story about her wedding ring falling into the toilet and her relief at retrieving it. Boss Brit then brings up a story from Brit's story about her friend's OBGYN visit. Brit shares her experience of going to the OBGYN due to a heavy cycle and discovering fibroids on her uterus. She describes an uncomfortable encounter with a younger doctor who was too casual and suggested removing her tampon.
Professionalism and Boundaries [18:42]
The hosts discuss the importance of maintaining professionalism in professional settings, even in Atlanta's social scene. DJ XL recounts DJing at Uncle Charles' party, where she felt awkward playing certain songs for the black professionals in attendance. They also discuss the need for black doctors to advocate for black women's health and the importance of setting boundaries with medical professionals.
Skittles and Riddles: Red Flags [24:18]
The hosts transition to the main topic: red flags in relationships. They discuss early signs that are often ignored and share personal experiences of overlooking red flags in past relationships. They define red flags as little things that seem cute at first but can ruin your whole life.
Early Red Flags and Personal Experiences [26:07]
Boss Brit shares some of her red flags, including someone pulling up in a Benz but living with their aunt, and someone who seemed to have money but didn't have a job. DJ XL shares that living with an ex is a red flag. They also discuss the red flag of someone not getting along with their family and how childhood trauma can affect relationships.
Clinginess, Trauma Dumping, and "I'm Crazy" [32:18]
The hosts discuss additional red flags, including being too clingy, trauma dumping too early in a relationship, and saying "I'm crazy." They emphasize the importance of protecting your story and not oversharing too soon. They also discuss the red flag of someone saying "I'm not really gay like that."
Love Bombing and Relationship Intentions [39:10]
The hosts discuss love bombing within the queer community, including overly affectionate behavior and using terms like "wifey" too soon. They also discuss the importance of having clear intentions in dating and avoiding people who don't want a long-term relationship.
Friendships and Words [40:56]
The hosts discuss how love bombing can also occur in friendships, with people using terms like "sis" too quickly. They emphasize that words have power and that actions should match words. They also share anecdotes about people they know who use social media to show off.
Talking About Exes and Aquarius Season [44:41]
The hosts discuss whether talking about exes on a first date is a red flag. They agree that it depends on the context and that it's important to know how long someone has been single. They also promote Boss Brit's upcoming birthday party on January 24th at Mix Atlanta.
When to Recognize a Crumbling Relationship [50:50]
The hosts discuss when to recognize that a relationship is crumbling, even if the other person denies it. They emphasize the importance of trusting your intuition and recognizing when actions don't match words. They also discuss the red flag of only calling at night and dry texting.
Communication and Social Media [55:28]
The hosts discuss communication red flags, such as only calling at night, avoiding FaceTimes, and being active on social media but not responding to texts. They emphasize the importance of finding someone who communicates in a way that works for you and setting boundaries around social media use.
Public Displays and Hair [1:01:45]
The hosts discuss the red flag of someone not wanting to be seen with you in public. They also touch on the topic of hair and how some people are overly concerned with their appearance.
Finances and Best Friends [1:04:04]
The hosts discuss financial red flags, such as not having the funds to go out. They also discuss the red flag of a best friend being too comfortable with your partner and how to address that situation.
Apologies and Explanations [1:12:21]
The hosts discuss the red flag of someone not apologizing but only explaining their actions. They emphasize the importance of taking accountability and understanding how your actions affect others. They also promote Starship, a one-stop shop for sexual wellness needs.
Dating Horror Story [1:23:01]
The hosts share a dating horror story from a listener who ignored red flags and ended up being betrayed by a friend and a love interest. The story highlights the importance of believing people when they show you who they are.
Outro [1:27:38]
The hosts conclude the episode, reiterating the importance of taking their advice and not ignoring red flags. They encourage listeners to call in with their own dating horror stories and sign off with their usual catchphrases.
