TLDR;
This video by Leila Hormozi discusses the mindset shifts required for real, lasting change. It challenges the conventional self-help approach of adding more, and instead advocates for subtracting the habits, patterns, and identities that hold you back. The video emphasizes the importance of defining what you're willing to give up, dismantling limiting beliefs, and understanding that change is a repetitive process, not a quick fix. It also provides a readiness checklist to evaluate if you're truly prepared to make these changes.
- Real change requires sacrificing old habits and identities.
- Identify and remove excuses, avoided tasks, and self-justifying stories.
- Change is a repetitive process that takes 18-24 months minimum.
- A readiness checklist helps evaluate preparedness for change.
- Focus on consistent, mundane actions rather than seeking quick fixes.
The Problem with Adding More [0:45]
Most people believe that transformation involves adding more habits, discipline, and routines. However, true change begins by becoming adept at saying no to oneself and eliminating old habits and identities. Adding more to your life without removing what's holding you back is like trying to diet by eating more healthy foods while continuing to binge eat; it negates the positive efforts. Being ready for change isn't about adding more motivation, but about removing the reasons to stay the same.
Dismantling Your Old Identity [2:14]
The belief that "this is just who I am" is a lie that keeps people stuck. Your identity is not fixed but is constructed from stories, habits, and emotions that served a past version of yourself. To grow, you must dismantle your old identity by removing excuses, confronting avoided tasks, and identifying the stories used to justify staying stuck. Often, friends and family unknowingly sabotage your transformation because these old identities feel safe and comfortable.
Honesty About Your Goals [4:24]
People often remain stuck not because their goals are too big, but because they are weighed down by habits and patterns that make those goals unattainable. It's crucial to be honest about your goals and current state, even if it's uncomfortable. You must prioritize becoming the person you want to be over protecting the person you have been. When your identity aligns with your goals, execution becomes automatic. Identify new goals, new ways of operating, and, most importantly, what you're no longer willing to do.
The Myth of the Quick Fix [5:42]
The idea of a quick fix is a fantasy that the self-help industry perpetuates. Real change requires sacrifice and takes a minimum of 18 to 24 months. The first six months involve fighting old patterns, the next six involve building new ones, and the second year is when the new behaviors start to feel automatic. The fantasy of instant change persists because it costs nothing to think about, requiring no sacrifice or admission of problematic behaviors. Being the same person in five years is more terrifying than the process of change.
The Readiness Checklist [7:44]
This checklist helps evaluate if you're truly ready for change:
- You are no longer willing to defend your old patterns.
- You are emotionally calm and ready to face underlying anxiety.
- You don't feel shame about wanting to change.
- You are comfortable with ambiguity around your identity.
- You have abandoned the idea that change should be easy.
Each of these points is essential for making lasting change.
Change is Repetitive [9:40]
Once you eliminate what's holding you back, change becomes about repetition. Consistently doing the same uncomfortable things every day is key. While attaining change involves setting new behaviors, maintaining change requires consistently doing those same things. The work never stops, but it becomes less dramatic as you lose the emotional charge associated with it. Change feels boring and mundane until it becomes automatic.
The One-Year Test [10:58]
Imagine yourself one year from now, having changed nothing. Then, imagine yourself one year from now, having done the work to dismantle limiting beliefs and establish new habits. If the first scenario makes you feel sick and the second makes you feel alive, you are likely ready for change. If both scenarios feel the same, you may not be ready yet and should revisit this video when staying the same feels more painful than changing.