TLDR;
This video discusses the importance of predictability in relationships and how a person's predictability can indicate their true feelings for you. Unpredictability often leads to anxiety and lowered self-esteem, as it prevents you from feeling secure and regulating your emotions. The speaker emphasizes that someone who genuinely likes you will be predictable due to their strong feelings and compulsion to be with you.
- Predictability in a partner is crucial for a healthy relationship.
- Unpredictability often signals a lack of genuine interest.
- Consistent positive feedback builds self-esteem, while unpredictable behavior erodes it.
- People in love tend to be predictable due to the intensity of their emotions.
Introduction [0:00]
The video introduces the concept that people who genuinely like you are predictable, while those who are manipulative or uninterested are unpredictable. The speaker aims to explain why this is the case and how understanding this dynamic can simplify your dating life. The frustration of dating someone whose intentions are unclear is highlighted, emphasizing the stress caused by unpredictability.
The Impact of Unpredictability [0:27]
Unpredictability in a partner can cause stress and make it difficult to regulate emotions. The brain struggles to find missing pieces and remains in a constant state of tension when faced with unpredictable behavior. This can lower self-esteem, as consistent positive feedback is necessary to build it. The anxiety caused by an unpredictable partner can lead to exaggerated reactions and non-verbal cues that betray your feelings, potentially burdening the other person.
The Comfort of Predictability [5:29]
When someone is predictable, it allows you to feel comfortable and secure in the relationship. The speaker shares a personal anecdote about a woman named Gia whose nonchalant reaction to him telling her she couldn't stay over made him feel comfortable. In contrast, unpredictability prevents you from depending on someone and being your true self around them, leading to a strained relationship where you have to put up a front. This facade eventually cracks, causing resentment and the eventual reveal of your neediness.
Predictability as a Sign of Genuine Interest [7:27]
Someone who genuinely likes you will be predictable, allowing you to be needy and vulnerable around them. Unpredictability, on the other hand, makes you walk on eggshells. The speaker argues that people are often drawn to unpredictable relationships, seeing them as a challenge, but the unpredictability is a sign that the other person's emotions are not intense enough for them to consistently want to be with you. Using the analogy of a crack addict, the speaker illustrates that strong compulsions lead to predictable behavior.
Setting Standards and Recognizing Unpredictability [9:17]
The speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing unpredictability as a red flag and not trying to understand it as a puzzle. You should expect a partner to like you enough to be predictable. Selective memory of positive moments can lead to ignoring the overall pattern of unpredictability. The speaker shares a personal rule: he doesn't date unpredictable women, using humorous examples to illustrate his point.
Course Promotion [12:42]
The speaker promotes his course, "Dark Game," now called "The Complete Man," designed for men who struggle with attracting women. The course covers various topics, including overcoming approach anxiety, building a social circle, understanding female nature, and improving dating skills. He highlights the 30-day money-back guarantee, encouraging viewers to try the course risk-free.