TLDR;
This YouTube video by Vikas Divyakirti explores the concept of narcissism, its increasing prevalence, and its impact on individuals and society. It uses examples from movies, literature, and psychology to illustrate the symptoms and causes of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). The discussion also covers healthy narcissism, the importance of self-esteem, and ways to protect children from developing NPD. The video emphasises the role of upbringing, societal influences, and the need for a balanced approach to self-perception and social interaction.
- Narcissism is increasing globally, especially in Western societies.
- It's crucial to differentiate between healthy confidence and harmful self-obsession.
- Over-praising or excessively repressing children can lead to narcissistic tendencies.
- Indian culture traditionally values humility and discourages self-praise.
- Social media and individual worship culture contribute to the rise of narcissism.
Introduction to Narcissism [0:00]
The discussion begins by highlighting the importance of protecting children from narcissism, which is described as "Aatma mugdhta" (self-obsession) in Hindi. It's noted that while self-confidence is a positive trait, the line between it and self-obsession is thin. Narcissism is not just a personal problem but also a societal one, creating a toxic environment. The discussion aims to understand narcissism through examples, including movie songs, and to examine its presence within ourselves.
The Rising Trend of Narcissism [5:24]
The video addresses the increasing trend of narcissism, particularly in the West, supported by surveys from medical science and psychology associations. A survey showed a significant rise in narcissistic tendencies among adolescent children in America, from 12% in 1962 to 77-80% in the 1990s. While some believe it's less prevalent in Indian society, it's acknowledged that it's starting to appear.
Symptoms and Examples of Narcissism [6:32]
One symptom of self-obsession is feeling superior and believing the world cannot function without oneself. Examples include someone saying, "I am so beautiful, what should I do?" or "If not me, then who?" Such statements are indicative of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and require treatment. The video also references a dialogue from the Sacred Games series, "Sometimes I feel that I am God," illustrating the "God Complex" associated with severe narcissism.
Love Bombing and Gas Lighting [10:26]
Narcissistic individuals often start relationships with "love bombing," overwhelming their partners with affection and messages. This is followed by "gas lighting," where they belittle and blame their partners, making them doubt their instincts. An example is given of someone constantly criticising their partner for waking up late, creating a guilt complex.
The Story of Narcissus and Echo [13:11]
The origin of the term "narcissism" is explained through the Greek myth of Narcissus and Echo. Narcissus, a handsome but arrogant youth, rejected all advances, including those of the nymph Echo. As punishment, he fell in love with his own reflection and eventually died, unable to leave its image. Echo, cursed to only repeat the last words of others, faded away, leaving only her voice. The story teaches the importance of humility and respect in relationships.
Types of Narcissism [28:34]
The video identifies different types of narcissism, including somatic narcissism (pride in one's body), cerebral or intellectual narcissism (belief in one's superior intelligence), and spiritual narcissism (thinking oneself as the only source of spirituality). Healthy narcissism is defined as confidence that is associated with social good, such as wanting to raise the name of one's country, and is kept under control.
Healthy vs. Unhealthy Narcissism [32:17]
Healthy narcissism involves children being praised for their efforts, which builds confidence. It's acceptable if someone's narcissism is linked to a greater social good and is kept under control. However, it becomes a disorder when self-importance is excessively inflated, empathy is lacking, and criticism cannot be tolerated.
Indian Perspective on Narcissism [43:31]
The Indian system traditionally places less importance on the individual and more on society. Narcissistic characters are often portrayed as negative figures in epics like the Ramayana and Mahabharata. The Mahabharata story illustrates how self-praise is equated with suicide, discouraging boasting and promoting humility.
The Narcissistic Epidemic and its Causes [52:39]
Recent research suggests a "narcissistic epidemic" in the West, characterised by excessive use of "I" and "mine" in language. The biggest cause of narcissism is considered to be upbringing, where excessive praise or repression can lead to NPD. Parents who glorify their children's wrongdoings or exert undue pressure contribute to this disorder.
Parenting and Preventing Narcissism [1:00:37]
To prevent narcissism, children should be taught to talk with manners, be ashamed of their mistakes, share, and easily digest failure. It's crucial to accept failures and develop the ability to withstand rejection. Parents should avoid over-praising or repressing their children, instead fostering a balanced sense of self-esteem.
Undue Success and Biological Factors [1:02:45]
Undue success, especially when repeated, can also lead to narcissism. This is often seen in the world of crime and on social media, where sudden fame can be overwhelming. While biological factors may play a role, the focus should be on teaching children the right values and coping mechanisms.
Lessons and Precautions [1:05:33]
Lessons include learning to accept rejection and failure, responding properly to rejection, and maintaining humility. Democratic behaviour, which involves listening to adverse opinions, is essential. Parents should understand that teaching big things is not as important as instilling good values.
Self-Confidence vs. Overconfidence [1:08:35]
Self-confidence stems from a belief in one's abilities, while overconfidence or narcissism involves a distorted self-concept. Charles Hutton Cooley's concept of the "looking-glass self" explains that our self-image is shaped by how we think others perceive us. Significant others, such as parents, play a crucial role in forming this self-concept.
The Role of Significant Others [1:12:40]
Significant others create our self-concept through their reactions and feedback. Underconfidence or overconfidence indicates a distorted self-concept that needs rectification. Consulting a psychologist or a wise friend can help assess abilities and adjust self-perception.
God Complex and Religious Beliefs [1:22:24]
Believing in God often reduces the likelihood of developing a God Complex, as it acknowledges a higher power and diminishes self-importance. People with deep religious beliefs generally exhibit less narcissistic tendencies. However, the video clarifies that when Krishna speaks of incarnating, it is as an avatar, not as a human being, and therefore does not promote narcissism.
Equality and Narcissism [1:25:12]
The discussion explores whether equality in society can reduce narcissism. While equal distribution of basic facilities may help, it doesn't eliminate the problem entirely. Socialist countries have also seen narcissistic rulers, indicating that psychological differences and power dynamics still play a significant role.
The Impact of Media and Social Media [1:28:32]
The media, especially social media, has a clear impact on both children and elders. Social media can be a boon for senior citizens, providing them with a wider world and more choices. However, it's important to guide them towards mature and beneficial content.
Crowd Mentality and Education [1:33:11]
The video distinguishes between collectivity, crowd, and mob, with the latter being driven by blind emotions. A good society requires individuals to maintain their conscience and critical thinking skills. The education system should focus on developing a thinking mind and scientific temperament, rather than rote learning.
Personal Identity and Fluidity [1:40:30]
The discussion addresses the question of personal identity and whether there is an objective version of oneself. Psychology suggests that identity is fluid, with self-image constantly changing. The video references the philosophical problem of personal identity, highlighting that there is no definitive answer.
Self-Love vs. Self-Esteem [1:46:25]
The video distinguishes between self-love and self-esteem, advocating for a focus on self-esteem. Self-love can lead to blindness and narcissism, while self-esteem involves understanding one's strengths and weaknesses, accepting shortcomings, and striving for self-improvement. Body shaming is discouraged, but addressing health issues is important.
Selfie Culture and Education [1:50:38]
Selfie culture is identified as a potential contributor to narcissism, with excessive self-photography leading to self-obsession. While technology has its advantages, it's important to recognise its potential downsides. The video also touches on the role of educational institutions in promoting privacy and personal choices while ensuring individuals remain grounded and humble.
