TLDR;
This video explains why relaxation can be difficult to achieve when the nervous system is stuck in protection mode and offers strategies to help the body relax naturally. It emphasizes that relaxation is not something you can force, but rather something that happens on its own when the nervous system feels safe. The video outlines three key points:
- Relaxation happens on its own, and pressure to relax can be counterproductive.
- Focus on responding to the body's signals rather than forcing relaxation.
- Avoid setting a timeline for healing, as the body relaxes at its own pace.
Relaxation Isn't Something You Do [0:39]
Relaxation is not an action that can be forced, but rather a state that occurs naturally when the body feels safe. Trying to force relaxation can actually increase stress and keep the nervous system on high alert. The key is to remove the pressure to relax, allowing the nervous system to do its job without micromanagement. While tools like meditation and sleep hygiene can be helpful, they should supplement the body's natural ability to rest, not force it. The more stress the nervous system experiences, the less responsive it becomes to attempts to relax.
You Don't Need to Relax, You Just Need to Be Able to Respond [3:24]
Instead of focusing on forcing relaxation, it's more effective to focus on how you respond when your body doesn't relax. Many people add pressure by feeling that if they don't relax or sleep, their body will never heal. The key is to let go of control and accept that some days you may feel relaxed and some days you may not, and that's okay. A useful framework for responding is the ALARM method: Acknowledge sensations, Label them (e.g., anxiety), Accept that your body isn't able to relax, Refocus on simply being present, and Move on without judgment. This approach takes the pressure off the nervous system, allowing it to calm down naturally.
Don't Put a Timeline on Your Healing [6:17]
The time it takes for the body to relax depends on the individual and their nervous system. Setting a timeline for healing can add more pressure and hinder the process. The body wants to conserve energy and will naturally return to baseline when it recognizes there is no danger or threat. Healing can occur even when you don't feel relaxed, as the nervous system is constantly adjusting. The key is to respond without adding pressure, allowing the nervous system to calm down over time. As you consistently respond to your symptoms without adding pressure, sleep and relaxation will come naturally.
