TLDR;
This video provides five communication skills to help you be perceived as strong, respected, and confident. These skills include speaking to lead rather than to be liked, avoiding emotional reactions, speaking with authority, mastering the art of questioning, and avoiding over-explanation. By implementing these strategies, you can enhance your communication style and project greater confidence and leadership.
- Speak to lead, not to be liked, and be confident in your perspective.
- Avoid emotional reactions and rely on logic and data.
- Speak with authority by being clear about your purpose and valuing your time.
- Master the art of asking strategic questions to guide conversations and solve complex problems.
- Avoid over-explaining, be direct, and project confidence through body language and vocal tone.
Introduction: Projecting Strength and Confidence Through Communication [0:00]
To be seen as strong, respected, and confident, your words must align with your ambitions. The video shares five communication skills learned from working with and becoming an executive, observing respected individuals. These skills differentiate those who are listened to from those who are ignored.
Speak to Lead, Not to Be Liked [0:18]
To be admired, stop trying to be liked and instead focus on leading through your communication. Successful individuals adopt a leader's mindset, even if they don't yet hold a leadership position, contrasting with those who feel subordinate and less confident. To project confidence, genuinely mean what you say and only speak about what you are sure of. Executives and leaders have a clear perspective shaped by their experiences, which they confidently express. To enhance your confidence, remember that your viewpoint matters and you are present for a reason. Avoid qualifiers like "I think" or "I feel," which undermine your credibility; instead, state your thoughts and feelings directly.
Avoid Emotional Reactions [2:18]
Emotional reactions can make you appear reactive and uncertain. High emotion often correlates with low intelligence, hindering logical decision-making. Effective leaders remain composed, remove emotions, and make logical decisions quickly, trusting their decision-making process. Trust in your decision-making comes from an internal confidence that you are influenced by logic and data, not emotions. Emotional outbursts can erode trust and indicate a lack of success in various areas, as using emotion in conversations undermines confidence. To be a leader, others must trust and follow you. Visualize yourself as a blade of grass, bending with pressure but not breaking, unlike a rigid toothpick. Allow data and emotions to pass through you, responding appropriately without becoming tense or inflexible.
Speak with Authority [5:22]
Speaking with authority involves speaking purposefully and with weight, ensuring your words have impact. Approach each conversation as an opportunity to make a difference. As a leader with limited time and numerous responsibilities, your presence in a room should be meaningful. If you have nothing to contribute, leave the conversation. Leaders prioritize their time effectively, understanding their purpose in each situation. Before entering a room, define your objective to establish authority. Most people merely go through the motions without a clear purpose. Great leaders focus on solving the most critical problems, making their communication significant. If you struggle with authority, reassess how you spend your time, actively participate in chosen meetings, and use your insights to address problems, building your authority. Never enter a room without knowing why you are there to enhance your communication.
Master the Art of Questioning [7:38]
You don't need all the answers to lead; you need to know how to ask the right questions. The best leaders tackle complex problems characterized by constraints, confusion, and unclear paths forward. Effective communicators can identify and ask the right questions to gather missing information and make informed decisions. Think of problem-solving as untangling a necklace, addressing each knot strategically. Leaders are problem-solving experts who ask more questions than less experienced individuals. Instead of dictating solutions, guide conversations by posing powerful, strategic questions. Challenge yourself to ask questions such as, "What data supports this decision?" or "What is the biggest challenge you are currently facing?" The quality of your questions determines the quality of your results.
Avoid Over-Explaining [10:55]
Avoid over-explaining, as it undermines your authority. When you know what to say, say it clearly, kindly, and firmly. Over-explaining indicates a lack of confidence. Confident individuals communicate impactful messages clearly and concisely. Avoid rambling or revisiting points already made, as this can make the listener uncomfortable and signal insecurity. Be direct instead of softening your message. Seeking validation can also erode your authority; confident executives are direct and intentional, not needing external approval. Observe successful communicators to learn from their body language, posture, and gestures. Maintain a confident presence by sitting upright with your shoulders back and minimizing fidgeting. Pay attention to your vocal tone, ensuring you speak clearly and avoid mumbling, which can indicate uncertainty. Actively work on projecting confidence through your voice and body language, seeking feedback from trusted individuals to correct any unconscious habits.
