TLDR;
This video provides an in-depth explanation of the Orthodox Christian betrothal service, which is the first part of the marriage sacrament. It highlights the importance of God's role in marriage, the mutual responsibilities of the couple, and the significance of the rings as a symbol of commitment to each other and to God. The talk emphasizes that marriage is not just a private matter but a sacred covenant involving the entire church community.
- The betrothal service includes petitions asking for God's blessings and grace upon the couple.
- Marriage is about holiness, and striving for holiness leads to happiness.
- The rings symbolize the mutual self-offering of the spouses and God's pledge to keep them united.
Introduction to the Betrothal Service [0:02]
The lecture begins by outlining the structure of the Orthodox Christian marriage service, noting that it was originally part of the Divine Liturgy. The marriage ceremony was removed from the liturgy and is now a common cup shared by the husband and wife. The initial part of the service is the betrothal, which includes opening petitions similar to those in the liturgy, asking for health and protection.
Importance of Free Will and Divine Blessing [1:18]
In Orthodox traditions, the priest seeks assurance from the couple that their decision to marry is free and sincere, which is essential for the sacrament. The speaker shares an anecdote about seeking permission from both parents before baptizing children to avoid conflict, illustrating the importance of willing participation in sacraments. He also mentions a workbook available for couples to prepare for marriage, emphasizing resources that help couples work through important questions together.
Petitions and Prayers for the Couple [3:49]
The betrothal service includes general and specific petitions, with the congregation responding, "Lord have mercy." These petitions ask God to enter into the marriage, grant peaceful and perfect love, preserve the couple in concord and steadfast faith, bless them with harmony and trust, and grant them an honorable marriage. The petitions also seek blessings for children and deliverance from affliction. The speaker stresses that marriage is about holiness, not just happiness, and that striving for holiness leads to true happiness and grace.
The Role of the Church and the Reflection of Christ and the Church [6:59]
The petitions at the beginning of the betrothal service indicate that marriage is incorporated into the realm of the whole church, not just a private matter. The sacrament of marriage reflects the relationship between Jesus and the Church. Breaking the covenant of marriage is seen as breaking a covenant with God. The petitions ask for perfect and peaceful love and emphasize that God should be included in all aspects of the marriage.
Prayers for Unity and Divine Guidance [10:59]
The betrothal service includes two prayers. The first prayer affirms that God brings people together into unity and harmony, uniting them with a bond of love and marriage. The prayer references the betrothal of Isaac and Rebecca, emphasizing that God brings people together and blesses them in marriage. The second prayer asks God to bless the betrothal and keep the couple in peace and harmony. God guides people to meet, fall in love, and marry in the church.
The Significance of Fidelity and God's Pledge [15:59]
God makes a pledge to the couple, promising to keep them united in peace and harmony if they remain faithful and obedient to His commandments. Fidelity involves more than just sexual purity; it means not letting anything take the place of one's spouse, including children. By blessing the betrothal, God makes a personal pledge to the couple, promising to keep them united in peace and harmony throughout their life together, provided they remain faithful to Him.
The Blessing and Exchange of Rings [19:00]
The priest blesses the rings over the Gospel, asking God to betroth the couple in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The rings are placed on the fourth finger of the right hand, and the sponsor of the couple exchanges the rings between the bride and groom. This exchange signifies the mutual self-offering of the spouses, who are no longer independent but united in a profound manner.
Mutual Fulfillment and Dependence [22:14]
The exchange of rings signifies that the spouses are no longer independent but are meant to fulfill and complement each other. Weaknesses of one spouse are fulfilled by the strengths of the other. The couple is reminded to mutually surrender to each other, discovering their destiny in life together. Spouses are no longer independent individuals but rely on each other to be whole and fulfilled, becoming each other's servants.
The Third Prayer of Betrothal and the Symbolism of Rings [26:06]
The third prayer of betrothal invokes God, who accompanied Abraham's servant to find a wife for Isaac, asking Him to bless the betrothal and confirm the couple's promise. The purpose of the union is for mutual help, fulfillment, and procreation. The pledge between the couple must be kept inviolate. Rings symbolize God's merciful love and steadfast faithfulness to His promise of salvation.
Guardian Angels and the Meaning of Unfaithfulness [29:54]
When a couple marries in the church, they receive a guardian angel to accompany and protect their new life. Unfaithfulness betrays God, rejecting His promise to bless and protect them. The rings are not only a sign of fidelity to each other but also a sign of God's pledge to mankind. The lecture concludes by answering questions about marriage outside the church, adoption, and the significance of the wedding ring.
Q&A: Sanctification, Marriage Outside the Church, and Adoption [32:45]
The speaker addresses questions about whether one spouse can sanctify a marriage if the other is unfaithful, emphasizing God's mercy and grace. He clarifies that marriages outside the church are not recognized by the church, but encourages couples to get married in the church to receive the sacrament. Adoption is seen as a blessing for couples who cannot have children.
Q&A: Ring Placement, Engagement Rings, and Mysteries of the Church [36:50]
The discussion covers the placement of the wedding ring on the right hand in Orthodox tradition, engagement rings as a newer custom, and the Mysteries of the Church as paths to salvation. The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding God's plan and relying on the scriptures and church fathers for guidance. He cautions against going against church teachings and highlights the priest's leeway in certain matters.