2 Be Better Podcast Episode #3

Brief Summary

This YouTube podcast episode by 2 Be Better features Chris and Chris discussing relationship check-ins, report cards, and addressing listener emails. They emphasize the importance of open communication, setting boundaries, and taking accountability in relationships. They also discuss the impact of hormones, past traumas, and individual responsibilities on relationship dynamics.

Importance of open and honest communication in relationships.
Setting clear boundaries and expectations.
Taking accountability for one's actions and emotions.
Understanding the impact of hormones and past traumas on relationship dynamics.
Individual responsibilities in maintaining a healthy relationship.

Introduction and Disclaimers

The hosts, Chris and Chris, introduce the podcast, emphasizing that their advice is based on personal experiences and knowledge, not professional expertise. They encourage listeners to share the podcast and leave comments to help them grow and understand their impact. Listeners are invited to submit questions or provide feedback via email, with the assurance of anonymity unless otherwise specified. They stress the importance of detailed emails and unbiased, honest opinions in their responses.

Announcements and Patreon Update

The hosts announce that they are on episode three and will discuss check-ins and report cards in relationships. They mention the upcoming launch of their Patreon, which will allow them to offer live coaching. They plan to reduce email responses and focus on podcast answers once the Patreon is live. They also announce their presence on various podcast platforms, encouraging viewers to subscribe to their YouTube channel for monetization purposes.

Personal Struggles and Social Media Hate

One of the hosts shares her recent mental health struggles and the hate she has been receiving on TikTok, including personal attacks and negative comments about her appearance. She expresses her frustration with people who dismiss her advice based on her tattoos and those who make unfounded assumptions about her relationships.

Check-ins and Report Cards: Building Better Relationships

The hosts introduce the concept of relationship check-ins and report cards, explaining that these tools are designed to foster growth and improve communication, rather than just saving a marriage. They outline the rules for check-ins, including putting away phones, turning off distractions, and sitting face-to-face. They emphasize the importance of creating a safe and trusting environment for open communication.

Questions for Effective Check-ins

The hosts detail the questions to ask during check-ins, including the original five questions about mental health, partner performance, and areas for improvement. They introduce five bonus questions to address emotional and intimacy needs, satisfaction with the sex life, division of housework, feelings of safety, and new activities to try together. They highlight the importance of setting boundaries and expectations during these conversations.

Communication Strategies and Avoiding Combative Phrases

The hosts discuss communication strategies to avoid combative phrases like "you never" or "you always." They emphasize the importance of phrasing statements as questions to encourage engagement and avoid defensiveness. They share a personal example of how rephrasing a statement to take accountability improved their conversation.

Listening to Understand and Processing Information

The hosts stress the importance of listening to understand, rather than just waiting to respond. They advise allowing partners to complete their thoughts, pausing to think before speaking, and empathizing with their feelings. They also acknowledge that processing information takes time and it's okay to postpone the conversation.

The Importance of Non-Defensiveness and Matching Energies

The hosts emphasize the importance of not getting defensive during check-ins, as the goal is to receive feedback and improve. They share a piece of advice about matching energies, suggesting that mirroring positive behaviors can improve the relationship. They also discuss the importance of reciprocation and avoiding complacency.

Addressing Complacency and Reclaiming Intimacy

The hosts discuss how complacency can lead to the roommate phase in relationships and emphasize that allowing intimacy to die is an active decision. They encourage couples to reclaim intimacy by dating each other again and taking small steps to show appreciation and desire. They also touch on the importance of addressing hormone imbalances and seeking professional help when needed, mentioning Summit Rejuvenation Centers as a resource.

Empathy, Validation, and Tone in Communication

The hosts discuss the importance of empathizing with and validating a partner's emotions, even when they seem irrational. They emphasize that acknowledging and understanding a partner's feelings can improve communication and resolve conflicts. They also highlight the significance of tone, inflection, and body language in conveying messages effectively.

Using "And" Instead of "But" and Recognizing Connection Requests

The hosts advise using "and" instead of "but" to avoid negating the first part of a statement. They also emphasize the importance of recognizing and responding to a partner's requests for connection, as ignoring these requests can lead to the downfall of a relationship and the roommate phase.

The Roommate Phase and the Importance of Intimacy

The hosts discuss the roommate phase in relationships, explaining how it happens and how to get out of it. They emphasize the importance of making an active decision to be intimate again, taking interest in each other's lives, and putting the partner first. They also provide practical tips for men to surprise their wives with dates and for women to make an effort to look attractive for their partners.

Recognizing and Validating Positive Things

The hosts emphasize the importance of recognizing and validating positive things in a partner, even small and trivial actions. They explain that simple affirmations can make a partner feel appreciated and seen. They also discuss the importance of distinguishing between habitual phrases and genuine expressions of love.

Honesty, Vulnerability, and Safety in Relationships

The hosts pose a series of questions for listeners to consider before engaging in relationship check-ins, focusing on honesty, vulnerability, and safety. They emphasize that these questions can reveal a lot about the health and dynamics of the relationship. They also discuss the importance of men feeling safe enough to be vulnerable with their partners.

Addressing Listener Emails: Hormone Imbalances and Relationship Challenges

The hosts begin addressing listener emails, starting with a long email from a woman struggling with hormone imbalances and relationship challenges. They advise her not to make any life-changing decisions until after her surgery and her hormones are back to normal. They also discuss the importance of her partner understanding her condition and providing support.

Navigating Relationships with Exes and Setting Boundaries

The hosts discuss the complexities of navigating relationships with exes, particularly when children or grandchildren are involved. They emphasize the importance of setting boundaries and communicating openly about feelings of discomfort or jealousy. They also address the issue of an ex-partner speaking negatively about the current partner and the need to address such behavior.

Addressing Past Infidelity and Building Trust

The hosts address the issue of past infidelity in the listener's relationship, emphasizing that it changes the entire dynamic. They discuss the challenges of building trust after cheating and the need for both partners to take accountability and work towards healing. They also touch on the importance of addressing the underlying issues that led to the infidelity.

The Importance of Understanding and Support

The hosts emphasize the importance of understanding and supporting each other through difficult times, particularly when dealing with medical conditions or mental health challenges. They stress the need for open communication and a willingness to learn about each other's experiences. They also discuss the importance of setting boundaries and seeking professional help when needed.

Analyzing the Relationship Dynamics and Offering Advice

The hosts analyze the relationship dynamics described in the email, offering advice on how to improve communication, build trust, and address underlying issues. They emphasize the importance of both partners taking accountability and working together as a team. They also discuss the challenges of co-parenting with a difficult ex-partner and the need to prioritize the current relationship.

Addressing the Listener's Concerns and Providing Recommendations

The hosts address the listener's specific concerns, providing recommendations on how to improve communication, set boundaries, and address the issues with the ex-partner. They emphasize the importance of the listener taking care of herself and prioritizing her own well-being. They also encourage the listener to seek professional help if needed.

Analyzing Relationship Dynamics and Offering Advice

The hosts analyze the relationship dynamics, emphasizing the importance of clear expectations, open communication, and mutual respect. They discuss the challenges of balancing traditional roles with individual needs and the need for both partners to be willing to compromise and support each other. They also address the issue of financial stability and the importance of both partners contributing to the household.

Addressing Self-Esteem Issues and the Importance of Self-Talk

The hosts address the listener's self-esteem issues, emphasizing the importance of self-love and positive self-talk. They share personal experiences and strategies for building self-confidence and overcoming negative thoughts. They also discuss the importance of recognizing and validating each other's feelings.

The Importance of Feeling Safe and Setting Boundaries

The hosts emphasize the importance of feeling safe in a relationship and the need for both partners to stand up for each other. They discuss the challenges of dealing with difficult family members and the importance of setting boundaries. They also touch on the issue of past trauma and the need for both partners to heal and move forward.

Final Thoughts and Encouragement

The hosts share their final thoughts, encouraging listeners to share the podcast and reflect on any triggers they experienced while listening. They emphasize the importance of personal growth and the power of open communication. They also express their hope that their advice will help others improve their relationships.

Addressing Listener Emails: Traditional Roles and Communication

The hosts transition to another listener email, focusing on traditional roles and communication challenges. They discuss the importance of setting clear expectations and addressing issues openly and honestly. They also touch on the impact of past trauma and the need for both partners to heal and move forward.

The Importance of Partnership and Addressing Financial Stress

The hosts emphasize the importance of partnership and working together as a team. They discuss the challenges of dealing with financial stress and the need for both partners to contribute to the household. They also touch on the importance of self-discipline and personal excellence.

Addressing Communication Barriers and Seeking Solutions

The hosts address the communication barriers in the listener's relationship, emphasizing the importance of validating each other's feelings and finding ways to communicate effectively. They also discuss the challenges of dealing with past trauma and the need for both partners to heal and move forward.

The Importance of Self-Esteem and Breaking Negative Habits

The hosts emphasize the importance of self-esteem and the need for both partners to build themselves up. They share personal experiences and strategies for overcoming negative thoughts and building self-confidence. They also discuss the importance of breaking negative habits and replacing them with positive ones.