Brief Summary
Julie, a hospice nurse, shares a profound experience that shifted her perspective on death. She recounts her time with a patient named Randy, who, despite a difficult past, found peace and freedom towards the end of his life. On the day of Randy's death, Julie experienced a shared death experience where she felt Randy's joy and liberation, which solidified her belief that death is a return to a familiar and comforting place.
- Julie shares a personal experience that changed her view on death.
- She describes a special connection with a patient named Randy.
- Julie experienced Randy's transition after death, feeling his joy and freedom.
- This experience reinforced her belief that death is a return to a comforting home.
Introduction
Julie introduces a story from her early years as a hospice nurse, which she hesitated to share due to fear of judgment. This experience profoundly changed her view of death and diminished her fear of it. She is now ready to share this story to explain why she doesn't fear death.
Randy's Story: A Patient's Transformation
Julie discusses her patient, Randy, a younger man in his 50s with no family or friends, who had significant mental health issues and lived in unsafe, hoarded conditions. Surprisingly, Randy allowed the hospice team to help him clean out his house, which led to a remarkable transformation in his demeanor. He became happier, more open, and lived for nine more good months, befriending the hospice team and openly discussing his fears and regrets about death.
The Day of Randy's Death
On the day Randy was nearing death, Julie visited him and, sensing his imminent passing, said her goodbyes in her head. As she left his apartment, she felt grateful for having met him and wished him well on his journey. While sitting in her car, she felt compelled to stay a moment longer to honor Randy.
A Shared Death Experience
While sitting in her car, Julie suddenly heard Randy's voice in her head, calling her name with joy. She experienced all his senses, feeling his happiness and freedom as if he were soaring. Randy communicated a sense of regret for his past fears, expressing that if he had known how good death was, he would not have been afraid. This overwhelming feeling of peace and joy caused Julie to weep in her car.
Aftermath and Reflection
Shortly after the experience, Julie received a text from the nurse confirming Randy's death. She felt that Randy had shown her the transition of dying. Initially, she only shared the experience with her best friend, Jenny, unsure of what it meant. The experience alleviated her fear of death and felt like a confirmation of her beliefs. Later, she learned about shared death experiences, which helped her understand what she had encountered.
Homesick for Another Place
Julie reflects on her lifelong feeling of being homesick for a place she has forgotten. She connects this feeling to moments when she sees babies or witnesses someone dying, feeling glimpses of that familiar place. She believes that death is not entering a new place but returning to a place we once knew, a place of relief and homecoming. This belief brings her comfort and reduces her fear of leaving this life.
