TLDR;
This YouTube video features a discussion on steps two and three of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), focusing on spirituality, belief, and the concept of a higher power from both traditional and secular perspectives. Herb K., along with Joe, explores the meaning of spirituality versus religion, personal experiences with the steps, and alternative interpretations of key concepts to be more inclusive for agnostics and atheists in recovery.
- The core message emphasizes the importance of personal interpretation and experience in recovery.
- It promotes inclusivity and tolerance within AA.
- It challenges traditional views on spirituality and higher power.
Introduction and Welcome [0:01]
Herb K. opens the meeting, welcoming everyone to the spirituality series supported by the Mary and Joseph Retreat Center. Melissa from the retreat center extends an invitation to visit, highlighting the center's history since 1963 and its inclusive environment for retreats and workshops. Herb shares a personal connection to the center, noting its role in his and his wife's journey through recovery.
Introductions: Herb K. and Joe [1:56]
Herb K. introduces himself as an alcoholic with an extensive background in spirituality, including studying to be a Catholic priest. Joe introduces himself as a different alcoholic, a member of the Beyond Belief agnostics and free thinkers group in Toronto. Joe discusses his background in finance and writing, which includes topics like billiards, addiction, mental health, and music. He also mentions writing "Beyond Belief: Agnostic Musings for 12-Step Life" after searching for a secular daily reflection book and not finding one.
Herb's Journey Through Steps Two and Three [7:41]
Herb shares his personal experience with steps two and three, noting that it took him four years in AA to realize the importance of understanding and applying the steps. He admits to initially bypassing these steps due to his background in philosophy, psychology, and theology. Herb emphasizes the importance of transformation over mere information and introduces the concept of a "set aside" attitude to overcome personal filters and prejudices.
Understanding Spirituality and Belief [10:09]
Herb asks the audience to consider their understanding of steps two and three, which Bill W. calls the cornerstone and keystone of a spiritual arch. He questions the meaning of "spiritual" and contrasts it with "secular," inviting attendees to examine their current beliefs about God, power, and a reality bigger than themselves. Herb shares his adaptation of the phrase "God as we understand God" to "God is I don't understand."
The Set Aside Prayer and Workshop Structure [14:59]
Herb introduces the "set aside" attitude as a prayer or affirmation to approach the workshop with an open mind and heart. He outlines the workshop's structure, which includes questions, information, action, reflection, and future readings to generate new questions and experiences. Herb shares his experience of discovering that his concept of God was an impediment to his relationship with the mystery.
Unmanageability and the Core of Goodness [20:05]
Herb discusses the concept of unmanageability as a spiritual malady and the human condition, separate from addiction. He encourages listeners to assess where their lives are not working and whether they truly want to change. Herb contrasts spirituality with religion, using the Buddhist image of the master pointing to the light versus worshiping the finger. He defines spirituality as a relationship with power, ourselves, and others, emphasizing that the steps are a tool for this relationship.
Faith, Belief, and Trust as a Process [33:23]
Herb defines faith as a decision, belief as acceptance, and trust as living and acting as if it's true. He explains that "came to believe" in step two is a process of progressive understanding and the removal of obstacles. Herb uses the circle and triangle symbols to represent the mystery and the human being, respectively, and discusses the three legacies of AA: steps, traditions, and concepts.
Decision and Relationship in Step Three [41:46]
Herb emphasizes that step two is about making a decision about one's concept of power, while step three is about deciding on a relationship with that power. He uses examples from the Big Book to illustrate different types of relationships and encourages listeners to consider what kind of relationship they yearn for with the mystery. Herb clarifies that turning one's will and life over to the care of God is like using a GPS: maintaining control while following guidance.
Joe's Perspective: Secular AA and Inclusivity [48:25]
Joe shares his experience with AA, noting the differences in AA culture across Montreal, Calgary, and Toronto. He discusses the book primacy in some meetings and the challenges faced by non-theists in traditional AA settings. Joe emphasizes the importance of unity without uniformity and the need for tolerance and humility within the recovery community.
Secular Recovery and Alternative Approaches [58:22]
Joe introduces various labels used by those in secular recovery, such as humanist, free thinker, atheist, and agnostic. He shares the history of the We Agnostics panel at AA world conventions and the International Conference of Secular AA. Joe presents the "CHIME" model (Connection, Hope, Identity, Meaning, Empowerment) as an alternative explanation for successful recovery.
Resources and Personal Stories in Secular AA [1:09:46]
Joe highlights the AA Grapevine's collection of articles from atheists and agnostics, including Jim B.'s four points for atheists in recovery. He contrasts the Big Book with "Living Sober" as a practical guide for secular recovery. Joe shares personal stories from atheists in AA, emphasizing that finding God is not necessary to stay sober.
Inclusivity and the God Word [1:19:18]
Joe discusses the history of agnostics and atheists in AA and the attempts to create a pamphlet with their stories. He shares Sheila's story, where AA itself became her higher power, and emphasizes that the right to one's own spirituality is unconditional. Joe highlights the importance of creating a welcoming environment for underrepresented populations in AA.
Open Discussion and Personal Experiences [1:35:15]
Participants share their personal experiences with belief, doubt, and the challenges of navigating AA as non-theists. They discuss the importance of finding what works and the freedom to explore one's own path. The conversation touches on the spectrum of belief, the role of the group as a higher power, and the need for principles to guide behavior.
Addressing Self-Hate and Finding Meaning [1:56:10]
The discussion addresses self-hate and the importance of self-compassion in recovery. Herb and Joe offer insights on reframing negative self-perceptions and focusing on doing esteemable things. They emphasize that life is a practice and that course correction is always possible.
Faith, Decision, and Alignment with Reality [2:22:51]
Joe shares a story about the difference between belief and faith, illustrating faith as the willingness to sit in the wheelbarrow without seeing the path. Herb emphasizes the importance of decision and alignment with reality in steps two and three. The session concludes with a washed version of the third step prayer, focusing on offering oneself to the power of the universe and seeking alignment with reality.
