TLDR;
This video features a discussion on the art of communication, public speaking, and the importance of soft skills. The guest shares personal experiences and practical tips for improving communication, emphasizing the role of self-worth, emotional intelligence, and conscious behavior. The conversation also touches on the impact of media and the importance of protecting one's mental space.
- Communication is a skill that can be learned and improved with practice.
- Self-worth and emotional intelligence are crucial for effective communication.
- Being mindful of body language and tone can significantly impact interactions.
- Protecting one's mental space from negative influences is essential for personal growth.
Introduction to the Art of Conversation [0:00]
The guest expresses gratitude for the invitation and highlights the importance of understanding how others prefer to be addressed, emphasizing that this simple act can significantly improve relationships in various settings, from formal work environments to family gatherings. The host reflects on the significance of the guest's pre-recording inquiry about preferred names and titles, recognizing it as a thoughtful gesture that sets a positive tone for the conversation.
The Lasting Beauty of Communication [1:56]
The discussion shifts to the importance of communication skills, noting that while physical appearance makes a strong first impression, the ability to engage in meaningful conversation is what leaves a lasting impact. The guest shares that her mother reading to her from a young age significantly contributed to her vocabulary and confidence in public speaking. She also acknowledges that while she felt confident, entering the job market made her realize the importance of skills, techniques, and self-worth.
Tools for Effective Communication [7:13]
The guest emphasizes the necessity of having a set of tools for effective communication. She shares a story about a 17-year-old student who apologized for sharing a competitor's post on social media, highlighting the beauty of humility and the importance of setting boundaries. The guest also touches on the genetic aspect of verbal intelligence, noting that while genes play a role, the environment and acquired skills are more significant.
Building Self-Worth and Expanding Vocabulary [10:23]
The guest shares that to speak more beautifully, one needs to address something more deeply and internally, starting with self-esteem and self-confidence. She explains that in her training courses, she focuses on self-esteem and inner ways before addressing words, voice, or tone. She emphasizes the importance of working on one's sense of self-worth to make a powerful and influential statement.
The Path to Becoming a Good Speaker [14:44]
The guest asserts that anyone can become a good speaker with the right techniques and formulas. She compares learning oratory to learning football, stating that while not everyone can be Ronaldo, everyone can learn to play. She also highlights the brain's neuroplasticity, emphasizing that it's never too late to start learning and building new neural pathways.
Encouraging Children to Communicate [16:58]
The guest recommends that parents encourage their children to talk to strangers, such as waiters or security guards, to develop their communication skills. She notes that overprotectiveness can hinder children from learning these skills at a young age. She also advises parents to push their children to pursue what they deserve and to support them in making friends and socializing.
The Role of Parents and Experimental Work [19:52]
The guest emphasizes that children imitate their parents' behavior and that parents should model the behavior they want their children to adopt. She suggests that individuals who want to improve their communication skills should engage in experimental work by going out with new people and challenging themselves to connect with others.
Verbal Masks and Cultural Norms [22:47]
The discussion shifts to verbal masks and cultural norms that hinder effective communication. The guest shares personal experiences and observations, highlighting how phrases like "I entrust him to God" or "It wasn't my day" can be used to hide a lack of communication skills or an inability to assert oneself. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing these masks and addressing the underlying issues.
Shame and Setting Boundaries [26:11]
The guest defines embarrassment as seeing oneself as less than the person one is facing and emphasizes the importance of resolving this mindset. She uses the analogy of a relationship machine to illustrate the need for a toolbox of communication skills to address problems in relationships. She introduces the Thomas Kilman chart, which divides people and issues into important and unimportant categories, to help individuals determine how to respond in different situations.
Thinking Tools and Bare Brains [31:33]
The guest emphasizes the importance of having thinking tools in the brain to address issues effectively. She introduces the foreign expression "Pick your battles wisely," highlighting the need to choose which fights to have and which battles to fight. She also touches on the importance of taking action and using the tools learned to improve communication.
The Soft Skills Center [35:33]
The guest defines soft skills as those that give the final percentage of approval in today's world. She explains that while hard skills are important, soft skills such as emotional intelligence, communication skills, and self-confidence are essential for success. She also highlights the World Health Organization's list of 10 essential skills for literate individuals in this era, which includes emotional intelligence, communication skills, and self-management.
Mistakes in Conversation [39:08]
The discussion shifts to mistakes made in conversation, including not listening, using an inappropriate tone, and apologizing excessively. The guest emphasizes the importance of managing emotions and being aware of one's tone of speech. She also notes that people often want to make themselves look better, more miserable, or happier, instead of listening and empathizing.
The Way of Speaking [46:00]
The guest emphasizes the importance of the way of speaking, including listening carefully, being respectful, and entering the conversation with the intention of listening. She highlights the power of voice, expression, and words, noting that individuals can learn to control these tools to influence others. She also provides examples of how to use tone, rhythm, and volume to convey different emotions and messages.
Body Language and Nonverbal Communication [53:21]
The guest emphasizes that body language is more powerful than words and voices because it is deeply rooted in our genes and analyzed quickly by the brain. She provides examples of body language signals, such as checking a watch or fidgeting, and explains how they can convey messages of boredom, anxiety, or disinterest. She also highlights the importance of making proper eye contact and avoiding distractions during conversations.
The Impact of Media and Protecting Mental Space [1:01:15]
The guest emphasizes the importance of being mindful of the content we consume, noting that every video, image, and conversation has an impact on our brains. She advises individuals to be careful about what they allow to enter their minds and to protect their mental space from negative influences. She also shares a personal story about a friend who advised her to avoid harsh images on the internet to protect her soul and mind.
The Value of Silence and Rest [1:05:37]
The guest concludes by emphasizing the value of silence and rest. She suggests that instead of filling our time with series and movies, we should spend time being silent, taking a walk, and allowing healthy inputs to create unique ideas. She notes that this type of rest is both more enjoyable and more productive.