TLDR;
This episode addresses how to handle complainers within a team, particularly focusing on a question from a police officer about dealing with a consistently negative team member. Jocko outlines strategies such as assigning responsibility, actively listening, and providing thorough explanations to address complaints. He also emphasizes the importance of leaders understanding and validating the concerns of their subordinates, and he introduces the concept of a "leadership primer," advocating for the use of a notebook to document and address complaints effectively, fostering trust and improving team cohesion.
- Assign responsibility to the complainer to shift their perspective.
- Actively listen to complaints to understand the underlying issues.
- Provide thorough explanations and seek answers from higher command if necessary.
- Use a notebook to document complaints and demonstrate attentiveness.
- Address complaints to build trust and improve team cohesion.
Introduction to EF Online and the Complainer Question [0:00]
Jocko introduces a question received from a police officer via EF Online, which has evolved into an interactive platform featuring live webinars, Q&A sessions, and forums. The question concerns how to manage a consistently negative officer, often referred to as a "Debbie Downer," who drains energy and complains about every task. Jocko acknowledges the universality of this issue, noting that everyone recognizes such a person within their own teams or organizations.
Initial Strategies for Dealing with Complainers [2:52]
Jocko suggests two initial strategies for dealing with complainers. The first is to put the complainer in charge of the task or project they are criticizing, forcing them to take ownership and potentially see the challenges from a different perspective. However, he acknowledges that this isn't always feasible, especially with junior personnel or when chain of command protocols prevent it. The second strategy is to actively listen to the complainer, as sometimes people complain because they feel unheard.
The Importance of Listening and Providing Explanations [3:42]
Jocko emphasizes the importance of actively listening to complainers and understanding the root cause of their negativity. He recounts how, in a live session on EF Online, he delved deeper into the police officer's situation and discovered that the complainer's main issue was with a recent shift in their squad's mission. The leader also admitted disliking the mission, which Jocko pointed out as a fundamental problem. He advises leaders to document complaints, provide explanations for why things are happening, and, if necessary, seek clarification from their superiors to address the concerns effectively.
Relating to Past Experiences and Providing Solutions [6:54]
Jocko shares a personal anecdote from his time working with Iraqi soldiers, where he initially faced numerous complaints. He explains that he briefly shared those complaints until he understood the strategic reasons behind the mission. He then communicated those reasons to his team, which significantly reduced the complaining. Jocko argues that addressing complaints head-on and providing valid explanations can turn a negative situation into an opportunity to build relationships and improve team performance.
The Leader's Responsibility and the "Pull the Thread" Approach [7:42]
Jocko asserts that if complaining persists, it is the leader's responsibility to address it. He advocates for a "pull the thread" approach, where leaders investigate the validity of complaints and provide appropriate responses. This not only stops the complaining but also strengthens team relationships by showing responsiveness to their concerns. He also notes that sometimes complaints are invalid due to laziness or other factors, which can be revealed by thoroughly examining the issue.
The Underrated Tool of Leadership: Listening and Breaking the Cycle [9:50]
Jocko highlights listening as an underrated leadership tool. He explains that while it's easy to dismiss chronic complainers, their behavior often stems from a lack of impact or feeling unheard. He suggests breaking this cycle by actively engaging with their complaints, asking for specifics, and documenting their concerns. This approach can transform a negative habit into a productive dialogue.
Leadership Primers and the Power of Note-Taking [11:14]
Jocko introduces the concept of "leadership primers," inspired by military primers designed to prepare individuals for specific situations. He advocates for carrying a notebook to document important information, whether received from superiors or subordinates. This practice demonstrates attentiveness, helps in remembering details, and shows that the leader values the input of others. He shares examples of how this can build trust and improve communication within a team.
Practical Application of Note-Taking and Avoiding Misinterpretation [13:35]
Jocko emphasizes the importance of following through with the notes taken, as simply documenting without action is ineffective. He cautions against using a phone for note-taking without explaining the action, as it can be misinterpreted as disinterest. The key is to ensure that the intention behind note-taking is clear: to genuinely address concerns and support the team.
Intention and Authenticity in Leadership [15:23]
Jocko and his co-host discuss the importance of authenticity in leadership, contrasting genuine note-taking with insincere actions meant to impress. They emphasize that people can sense ulterior motives, and true intention is palpable. The goal should be to use note-taking as a tool to better support the team and achieve mission success, rather than as a means of self-promotion. Jocko concludes by reiterating that the intention to take care of the team is both felt and easily recognized.