Brief Summary
This video discusses how to avoid settling for the bare minimum in dating and relationships by setting high standards, understanding your worth, and attracting a partner who provides "princess treatment." It covers identifying your standards, communicating them effectively, recognizing high-value men, and addressing mindset myths that prevent you from achieving fulfilling relationships. The video also provides practical homework to improve self-love, understand attachment styles, and learn about masculine and feminine energies.
- Setting high standards is essential for attracting fulfilling relationships.
- Communicating standards effectively involves observing and positive reinforcement.
- Self-love and understanding your worth are crucial for attracting high-value partners.
- Mindset shifts are necessary to avoid self-sabotage and embrace fulfilling relationships.
Intro
The author shares her personal journey from settling for less in relationships to now experiencing "princess treatment" in a long-term relationship. She attributes this transformation to setting high standards, leveraging her feminine energy, and understanding her worth. She teases that she will share how she achieved this and how viewers can do the same. She also promotes her jewelry brand and a scalp massager brand called Scalp Hero.
What is the Bare Minimum?
The author discusses the importance of having dating standards. She explains that without standards, individuals may tolerate minimal effort and experiences, leading to settling and envy towards those receiving better treatment. She contrasts two hypothetical women: Lola, who has low standards and is easily impressed, and Athena, who has high standards and expects a lot. The author emphasizes that relationship standards help relationships last longer because they ensure alignment in values and future lifestyle, protecting against heartbreak. She provides a test to determine if you idolize the bare minimum, listing actions like opening doors, basic communication, and being kind as examples of things that should be considered basic decency, not exceptional behavior.
Figuring Out Your High Standards
The author explains how to determine your high standards. She advises reflecting on past relationships, comparing exes, and identifying what was missing or bothered you. For those without relationship experience, she suggests taking a love language quiz to understand emotional needs, identifying shared interests for spending time together, and listing behaviors that make you feel loved. She also recommends considering dream romantic gestures, how you want to be supported during bad days, what weekends together would look like, and the core values and personality traits you desire in a partner. Finally, she emphasizes the importance of aligning future goals. She also addresses whether standards can be too high, stating that core values should never be compromised, but superficial standards should be negotiable. She advises giving people a chance to prove themselves, suggesting a two-date rule or a phone call before dismissing someone.
High Value Men and How to Attract Them
The author defines high-value men as those who bring a lot of value into your life by providing and giving "princess treatment," contrasting them with low-value men who are dating to get something back. She says that high value men know what they want and value your time, energy, and personality. She advises against explicitly teaching or telling anyone how to treat you, but rather observing if they naturally meet your standards. She suggests that in serious relationships, vulnerability is key to communicating standards in a polite way. She also recommends using positive reinforcement instead of nagging to encourage desired behaviors.
When He's Not Meeting the Standard
The author advises leaving a relationship if a partner consistently fails to meet your standards, emphasizing that you cannot change a man. She explains that trying to change someone puts you in your masculine energy, while feminine energy involves being open to receiving and surrounding yourself with people who naturally meet your needs. She reiterates that men are additions to your life and should bring a lot to the table.
Addressing Mindset Myths
The author addresses common mindset myths that prevent people from having fulfilling relationships. She argues that loneliness is not inherently bad and can be avoided by focusing on other relationships and personal growth. She advises against settling down and being "realistic" based on others' limiting beliefs. She emphasizes that looks are not the most important thing and that self-confidence is key to attracting a partner. She strongly advises against tolerating situationships, which she sees as undervaluing yourself and accepting less than the bare minimum. She provides homework to stop self-sabotaging, including finding out your attachment style, learning what love is, starting a self-love journey, and learning about masculine versus feminine energy.
