Brief Summary
Herb K. discusses Step One of Alcoholics Anonymous, emphasizing the importance of understanding both powerlessness over addiction and the unmanageability of life. He highlights that while the first half of Step One addresses addiction, the second half concerns the universal human condition of unmanageability, rooted in self-centeredness. Herb shares personal experiences and insights gained over decades of sobriety, including the role of spiritual awakenings and the ongoing need for spiritual maintenance through practices like meditation and service to others.
- Step One involves recognizing powerlessness over addiction and unmanageability in life.
- Unmanageability is linked to self-centeredness and can be addressed through spiritual practices.
- Continuous spiritual maintenance is essential for maintaining sobriety and a balanced life.
Introduction
Herb K. introduces a series summarizing the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, tailored to each month. He aims to provide a distilled version of his knowledge and experience with the Big Book, emphasizing his fundamentalist and literalist approach. Herb highlights the meeting's spirit, aligning with Bill's prophetic statement about the solution for the human race found within the principles of AA.
The Two Halves of Step One
Herb explains that Step One has two parts: the first addresses addiction, while the second, often misunderstood, deals with unmanageability. He shares that it took him ten years of sobriety to understand that the second half of the first step was not connected to the first half. He emphasizes that the second part of Step One is about powerlessness over unmanageability, which affects all individuals, not just addicts.
Understanding Powerlessness and Insanity
Herb clarifies the concept of powerlessness, stating it's a biochemical reaction where taking a drink leads to a lethal interaction with one's chemistry, leaving no choice. He also addresses the term "insanity" as used in the Big Book, defining it as unhealthy thinking or a vulnerability to obsession, rather than mere ignorance or irresponsibility.
Unmanageability: The Real Problem
Herb asserts that the real problem isn't just addiction but the unmanageability of life, which stems from a lack of power or willpower. He references Bill's statement about "any life run on self-will" and connects it to the idea that everyone, not just addicts, experiences unmanageability. He introduces the concept of the "bedevils" from page 52 of the Big Book as a behavioral description of unmanageability.
Personalizing the Bedevilments
Herb recounts his third journey through the steps in 1994, where he was asked to personalize the bedevilments described in the Big Book. He shares how he applied the "set aside" attitude and prayer to his human problems, such as relationship issues and career dissatisfaction. Through meditation, he gained insights into his narcissism and the realization that he often sought the reputation of helping others rather than genuine service.
Narcissism and Emotional Sobriety
Herb discusses his struggles with narcissism and how therapy and spiritual work through the 12 steps helped him manage this personality trait. He emphasizes the importance of emotional sobriety, which involves cutting the strings of codependency and achieving freedom through the program.
Craving and Mental Blank Spots
Herb clarifies that craving, as described in the Doctor's Opinion, occurs after the first drink, not before. He also discusses mental blank spots, likening them to color blindness, where the mind cannot process reality, especially concerning alcohol. The core issue, however, remains the problem of the will and unmanageability.
Practical Application of Step One
Herb advises listeners to convert the paragraph describing the bedevilments in Chapter Four to the present tense and personal pronoun, reading it aloud to test their spiritual condition. He emphasizes that addiction is a problem of substance or process, while unmanageability is a universal human defect. He encourages reading pages 60-62 of the Big Book in a similar manner to gain further insight into unmanageability.
Recovery vs. Cure
Herb highlights that AA focuses on recovery, not a cure. He points out that the second title page of the Big Book refers to "recovered" individuals. He explains that steps 10, 11, and 12 mark the beginning of a new way of living, entering the world of the spirit after cleaning up the past. He advises giving sponsees instructions on steps 10, 11, and 12 before they begin step nine to keep the channel clear and maintain spiritual growth.
The World of the Spirit and Daily Reprieve
Herb explains that recovery means no longer thinking about or engaging in addictive behaviors, achieving a position of neutrality. However, this recovery is not a cure but a daily reprieve contingent on maintaining one's spiritual condition. He stresses the importance of being other-centered rather than self-centered, as described on pages 60-62 of the Big Book.
Powerlessness and the Need for a Higher Power
Herb reiterates that individuals cannot overcome self-centeredness through their own power. He emphasizes the need to connect to a power greater than oneself, acknowledging that willingness and grace are gifts that cannot be fully explained. He references Bill's description of powerlessness on page 30 of the Big Book, urging listeners to fully concede their addiction and smash the delusion that they are like other people.
Emotional Sobriety and Alignment with Reality
Herb describes emotional sobriety as being in alignment with reality. He outlines the importance of cleaning the channel through spot-check inventories (Step 10), filling the channel with consciousness through meditation, and emptying the channel to allow it to be distributed to others. He concludes by expressing awe and humility, recognizing his dependence on a power greater than himself and acknowledging the steps as preconditions for receiving this gift.
