TLDR;
This video talks about why men fall into the "simp" category and how to avoid it. It highlights that simping is an attraction killer and stems from deeper issues like childhood abandonment and lack of self-worth. Vaishnavi explains the importance of self-respect, setting boundaries, and focusing on personal purpose to attract a high-value woman and build genuine connections.
- Simping is rooted in insecurity and a need for validation.
- High-value women are attracted to men with purpose and self-respect.
- Healing from past traumas is crucial to avoid simping behavior.
Intro: Understanding Simping [0:00]
Vaishnavi introduces the topic of simping, explaining it's related to the idea that society makes men believe women are the ultimate prize to be won. She argues that any woman worth having won't make a man chase her, and a self-respecting man won't engage in such behavior. She points out that the current societal dynamic of female entitlement and male desperation leads many men to become "simps," constantly seeking validation from women.
What is Simping? [1:15]
Simping comes from the word "simpleton" and describes a man who is overly feminine, lacks boundaries, is submissive, and makes women the center of his existence. This behavior leads men to seek excessive sympathy and attention from women who don't reciprocate their feelings. Vaishnavi shares a story of a guy who invested in women too quickly, desperately seeking a relationship, which ultimately led to rejection because he was chasing women who didn't reciprocate his feelings.
The Psychology Behind Attraction [3:13]
Vaishnavi explains that women are naturally attracted to men who can provide and protect. A man who can provide and protect is focused on himself, prioritizes his well-being, and has a purpose in life. A man's primary goal should be his purpose, otherwise, he will pour everything into a woman and lose himself, which is a major turn-off. Appreciating yourself repels toxic, attention-seeking women and attracts those with aligned values.
Simping vs. Genuine Chivalry [5:19]
The difference between simping and genuine chivalry lies in whether a man feels equal or higher in value to the woman. Genuine connections are built on mutual respect, love, and attraction. A real relationship involves being seen for who you are authentically. Faking it to win someone over attracts women who will take advantage of you. Women mirror the feelings you have about yourself, not the feelings you have for them.
Signs You Might Be Simping [6:27]
Vaishnavi lists signs of simping, including putting others' needs before your own, seeking validation through flattery, neglecting your boundaries, people-pleasing, feeling unworthy, letting her disrespect you, double/triple texting, being overly available, and apologizing even when not at fault. These behaviors stem from childhood abandonment issues and past relationship traumas.
The Root of Simping: Childhood Trauma [7:41]
Simping often originates from childhood abandonment issues and traumas, leading to anxious attachment and constant worry about whether she likes you. This happens because you don't realize your own value and don't think you deserve love. Healing these wounds is essential to avoid anxiety when trying to win a woman over.
Why Simping is a Turn-Off [8:33]
Simping is a turn-off because high-value women want high-value men with high standards. Idealizing a woman makes her feel like you're not seeing the real her. Genuine relationships form when people accept each other's flaws. To attract a high-value woman, you need self-respect and self-esteem. Chivalry comes from a place of high value, and you should approach women with the mindset of vetting them, not winning them over.
How to Avoid Being a Simp [9:51]
Vaishnavi provides ways to avoid being a simp:
- Have Boundaries: Know your non-negotiables and consequences for crossing them.
- Lead with Confidence: Confidence comes from being happy with your career, money, health, and how you show up in life.
- Stay Purpose-Driven: Your purpose should come before any woman.
- Foster Mutual Respect: Ensure the relationship isn't one-sided and set expectations.
- Don't Seek Validation: Let your accomplishments define you.
- Be Emotionally Open: Share feelings but maintain independence.
- Value Yourself: Align relationships with your goals and values.
- Balance Giving and Receiving: Don't overcompensate in fear of losing your partner.
- Call Out Disrespect: Address boundary-crossing behavior firmly and respectfully.
- Focus on Growth: Create a partnership where both feel valued and safe to grow.
Healing and Reclaiming Masculinity [13:48]
Simping results from attachment issues and emotional traumas. Vaishnavi encourages men to heal, reclaim their masculinity, and take control of their dating lives. She promotes her free community, the Conscious Man Circle, dedicated to helping men become masculine leaders who choose the right woman for them.
