TLDR;
Courtney Ryan discusses behaviours that can make people appear socially awkward and offers tips to improve social interactions. She highlights the importance of self-disclosure, eye contact, reading social cues, respecting personal space, and having a filter. Additionally, she advises focusing on others, practising storytelling, and showing up for oneself to build confidence and improve social skills.
- Avoid oversharing or revealing too little.
- Maintain appropriate eye contact.
- Learn to read and respond to social cues.
- Respect personal space.
- Be mindful of what you say and its relevance.
- Focus on others in conversations.
- Practise storytelling to engage listeners.
- Take pride in your appearance and grooming.
Introduction [0:00]
Courtney Ryan introduces a video addressing how to be less socially awkward by identifying behaviours that make people seem odd or weird. She aims to help introverts and anyone struggling with social interactions by highlighting these behaviours and offering practical tips. The goal is to prevent social awkwardness or anxiety from leading to social isolation, reminding viewers that everyone is imperfect and can improve.
Self-Disclosure: Oversharing or Revealing Too Little [0:53]
The initial point addresses self-disclosure, focusing on the balance between oversharing and revealing too little. Oversharing, or "emotional vomit," involves revealing too much too quickly, which can make one appear strange. There should be a natural progression in revealing personal information as you get to know someone. Conversely, revealing nothing at all can make people distrustful and disconnected. The recommendation is to follow an equal sharing rule, where you reciprocate at the same level as the other person.
Eye Contact and Body Language [2:41]
Eye contact is crucial, but too much can be intense, while too little can make you seem nervous or uninterested. Sufficient eye contact shows engagement and attentiveness. Other body language cues, such as keeping hands in pockets, fidgeting, or moving too much, can also make you appear awkward. Understanding and managing body language is essential for how you are perceived.
Inability to Read Social Cues [3:48]
The inability to read social cues, or "read the room," is a significant issue. This involves recognising when someone wants to end a conversation or is not interested. Overstaying your welcome or lingering too long can create awkwardness. Examples include ignoring cues that someone at the gym is not interested in talking or continuing a conversation when someone has already said they need to leave. Ignoring these cues makes interactions uncomfortable.
Proximity and Personal Space [5:48]
Proximity is another key factor, as invading someone's personal space can make them feel uncomfortable. In the United States, the typical range for personal space is 12 to 18 inches. Standing too close can be off-putting, while standing too far away can make it hard for the person to hear you. It's important to find a comfortable distance, keeping the context of the situation in mind.
Having No Filter [6:52]
Having no filter can also lead to social awkwardness. While being genuine and authentic is important, there's a difference between that and saying whatever comes to mind without considering appropriateness or relevance. What you say to a close friend might not be suitable for a new boss. Keeping appropriateness and relevance in mind can greatly improve conversation skills. Sometimes, it's best to keep certain thoughts to yourself.
Tip 1: Focus on the Other Person [8:20]
The first tip is to focus on the other person during interactions. Instead of overthinking or fixating on yourself, give the other person your full attention. This not only improves the conversation but also helps you relax. By focusing on the other person, you avoid hyper-fixating on your own actions and thoughts, leading to more natural and engaging conversations.
Tip 2: Practise Your Storytelling [9:53]
Practising storytelling is another helpful tip. Good storytelling keeps people engaged and interested. Tailor your stories to your audience, using analogies and examples to help them understand and connect with you. Being a good Storyteller involves staying on track and including relevant details that resonate with your listeners.
Tip 3: Show Up for Yourself [11:12]
Showing up for yourself is crucial, as first impressions matter. This includes dressing well, grooming, and putting effort into your appearance. Dressing for success and maintaining good hygiene shows that you care, which influences how people perceive you. This effort can also build your confidence and self-esteem, reflecting positively in your social interactions.
Conclusion [12:19]
The skills discussed are learnable with practice. Even those who struggle with social cues can improve through effort. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and while some find conversation more natural, others may need to work harder. Remember that you are human, and it's okay to make mistakes. Practising these tips will help you become more socially adept.
